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Friday Hypothetical #5 – Front-Page News

HeadlinesAnother fun hypothetical situation from Chuck Klosterman’s Hypertheticals. Leave your comment below!

Defying all expectations, a group of Scottish marine biologists capture a live Loch Ness Monster. In almost an unbelievable coincidence, a bear hunter in the Sasquatch 1Pacific Northwest shoots a Sasquatch in the thigh, thereby allowing zoologists to take the furry monster into captivity. These events happen on the same afternoon. That evening, the President of the United States announces that he may have thyroid cancer and will undergo a biopsy later that week.

You are the front-page editor of the New York Times: What do you run as the biggest story and why?

 Leave your response below!


  1. I don’t read the New York Times so I don’t know how conservative the readership is, but I think more readers would probably be interested in the president, so that should be front page news. However, I’d print pictures of the Loch Ness Monster and Sasquatch on the front page too, with a caption to the story on page 2.

    • The readership is not that conservative; but many new media pick up the articles and run with it. Your solution Susie is a viable one. Since most of us have the attention span of a pea; most of it will not be remembered after the next tweet or update anyways! 🙂

  2. I think it is a toss up considering all three characters in question have a fabricated history.

  3. i would run the possibility of president having thyroid cancer. Reason : it is the news that sells, i.e. most of the readers are interested in.

  4. Wouldn’t run the president story. Lots of people have biopsys which often prove to be benign in the end and lots of people suffer with cancer so it doesn’t make it particularly newsworthy. Now discovering two previously fictional creatures and on the same day surely has to be news?

  5. Headline: Three biopsy’s next week. Possibly Three life changing results.

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