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Have Your Friends Made You Into a Chicken?

Flock Chicken Coup

What kind of people do you surround yourself with?

The Law of Attraction or the Law of Magnetism would say that you attract and surround yourself with people similar to yourself. I think if we look around society, we would agree. The rich usually group together with the rich. The positive with the positive. The negative with the negative. The athletes, the computer programmers, the historians, and the artists all tend to find themselves surrounded by people with similar interests, disposition, socioeconomic status, etc.

Have you ever stopped to wonder if your group of friends is indicative of the type of person you are, or whether you are a product of the group of people around you? Did you draw them to you, or did you change to become like them?

I belong to a wonderful group of philanthropic dentists called the Crown Council. One of our mantras is “Birds of a feather flock together, and flocking causes birds to be of a feather.” You will naturally surround yourself with people like you. But you can actively choose another “flock” and become like them.

I am reminded of the story of a father and son who were driving through the countryside and came upon a farm to ask directions. As the father spoke with the farmer, the young boy wandered over to the pen where the chickens were out scratching in the yard. Moments later, the boy came running back to his father and said, “Dad, there is an eagle in with the chickens!” Not believing him, the man continued talking with the farmer. Again the boy returned and said, “Dad, you have to come see this eagle.” The father told his son that it couldn’t be an eagle and began to apologize to the farmer for the interruption. The farmer stopped him and said, “It’s okay. There is an eagle in there.”flock ealge-and-chicken

In disbelief the man walked over to the fence where his son stood pointing. There he saw a bald eagle walking around on the ground pecking for food in the dirt. The man could not believe it. He turned to the farmer and asked, “How in the world did this happen?” The farmer laughed and said he found the eagle when it was a baby. It had fallen out of its nest in a storm and was injured. He brought it home, weened it back to health and put it in with the chickens because it didn’t know how to fly yet. Time passed and the eagle grew but never learned how to fly. In fact, it never seemed like it wanted to. It was happy to be in with the chickens, eating seeds and digging for worms.

In the story, the father was absolutely right. An eagle had no business walking around on the ground digging for worms. Eagles are meant to soar. But if you put an eagle with a group of chickens, sooner or later, it will act like a chicken.

Who are you flocking with?

Again I ask, what have the people around you helped you to become? Have they lifted you or brought you down. Do you feel happier around them or more negative? Do they have the same types of goals that you do? Are they positive and uplifting? Do you feel like you are always the one holding the friendship together? Do your friends make you want to be a better person?

If the people you associate with don’t push you to be better, then it is highly unlikely that you will have the energy and support to follow your goals or dreams. You know the type of person I’m talking about. They are like motivation vampires. They just suck the excitement out of you.

But when you are surrounded by people who are motivated to improve their lives, you will suddenly find that you are more productive and proactive about chasing self-improvement. Just being around them makes you want to work harder towards your goals so that you can feel comfortable in the group.

Action Items

#1. Take an inventory of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Are they what you want to become, or are you happy you aren’t more like them? If it is the latter, guess what, you are becoming more like them every day. If it is the former, congratulations, you are becoming more like them every day.

#2. Decide who is bringing you down or holding you back and cut them loose. Okay that sounds a bit harsh. I wouldn’t say you should ever completely get rid of someone as a friend. They might need you. But you can add someone else to the mix who brings you more happiness and choose when to associate with a negative person. Just remember, they are influencing you as much as you influence them. You will end up meeting somewhere in the middle and that is NOT what you want.

#3. Look for people who are already the way you want to become. Most people know somebody who has accomplished a lot of what we want to accomplish some day. Find a way to get closer to them. When I graduated dental school, one of the first things I did was find the “top dentists” in my city and go to talk with them about how to be successful and happy as a dentist. We didn’t become friends but just my association with them has greatly accelerated my progress and fulfillment in my profession. You don’t have to be best friends with someone you admire but you should try to find as many opportunities as possible to be around them. Mature Bald Eagles roosting in Homer

#4. Be picky about your flock. As you form your group of friends and acquaintances, be picky about who you give your time and energy to. They will decide who you become. You don’t have to devote yourself to someone who doesn’t build you up.

In the end, you are the sum of your friends. Choose them wisely. They will decide who you can become.


If you enjoyed this post and know someone who it could help, please share it!


  1. Awesome post as always!!!!!

  2. I wish there was a vote button. I love this!

  3. trent-morgan@sbcglobal.net

    R u getting this blog? Awesome material!!

    On Fri, May 10, 2013 at 11:12 AM, Successify!

  4. trent_morgan@sbcglobal.net

    R u getting this blog??? Awesome reading material!1

  5. Stephanie Messer

    So true! This is exactly what I needed to read today! Thank you.

  6. This applies to family as well. If your family is holding you back or bringing you down, you are not beholden to them simply because you share blood.

  7. Thank you

    From istanbul

    Zeynep Tezcan

    10 May 2013 tarihinde 19:12 saatinde, “Successify!” şunları yazdı:


  8. this is great advice! thank u so much! I’m definitely going to be pickier about the friends I hang out with..

  9. Rita P. Richardson

    Your comments were so inspiring and truer statements have never been made. I have lived long enough to have experienced all of your comments a have proven them in my own life and through the experiences of my son, who learned early on the importance of choosing the right flock to associate with.

  10. I love this story. It is so easy to become like the flock around you just to “fit into society”. But if you lose yourself in the process you end up being unhappy and unfulfilled. I have found it is better to have a few friends you really resonate with and enjoy. Friends who inspire you to grow and be a better “you”, than be a chicken. So yes, I am much more picky now.

  11. It gives me more positive energy to starting my day.. Thank you!

  12. This is great advice, it gives me more positive though.. Thank you!

  13. Thanks Kris,,,good thought!

  14. Great post! Thanks for this! My dad always said “If you want to be a loser, hang out with losers.” Although his blunt tone was a bit harsh, it’s so true. I’ll be sharing this one!

  15. Magnetism attracts opposites, not likes.

  16. Same with the saying that goes, “You can’t soar high with the eagles if you hang out with the turkeys.”

    Thank you for writing this blog!

  17. Reblogged this on Sights, Scribbles and Nibbles and commented:
    Who are you hanging out with?

  18. This post is so true. After I got divorced, I re-evaluated my life and took a hiatus from friends who were negative. I couldn’t afford to waste any more time being sad and angry. Then, I surrounded myself with other people who raised me up and walked me through some of my worst days. Those people are still in my life and I am thankful I am so blessed. Thanks again for a great post, Kris. You’re terrific!

  19. I enjoyed reading this story, it has really good points to keep in mind!

  20. Dear Kris…thank you for sharing your thoughts, I too thought along a similar line this very weekend, but extended the thought to every living thing around me…as the Law of Attraction and Magnetism are based on the vibration of the living and non living thing. So, every bug around you, ant, disease, spider, tree, plant, has drawn you to it and it to you…yes?

    I do wonder something though, and please consider this as merely my contemplation. Okay ? Judgement…a lot of what you are speaking about above relies on judgement. For me, everything that is around me through attraction is meant to be as it is…I am no greater or less then any of it, just, maybe on a different path…but, again, that is really my ego trying to separate me from all things and make me somehow in a better position then someone else. Reality is…no one can bring you down…no one can be so less then you or I that they bring you down…that is really you, in your own mind, using their actions toward you as a crutch to bring yourself down. Does that make sense?

    I have heard the story about the eagle as well. But, I heard it from the perspective of the eagle…the eagle pecked around and looked up and saw a beautiful bird flying in the air and talks about how beautiful and free it is. He eventually comes to find that he is an eagle as well. In both your story and in my story there is no mention of any chickens holding him down or forcing a thought in him. That is impossible. You surround yourself….the universe surrounds you with the perfection of where you need to be. In both our stories, the eagle was wounded and brought to the chickens…how nice that since he was unable to fly with the eagles and was probably considered “less” then the other eagles cause he could not fly, that he had the chicken coup to heal in and a place to realize who he is so he can fly again.

    Judgment…good…bad…right…wrong…does it really exist to create peace, harmony? I hold this to my heart: Within fortune is misfortune, within misfortunue, fortune.

    Peace on you…thank you for your message and a place to weave my peace.

  21. Reblogged this on Our Egypt Adventure and commented:
    Great post, so true, particularly like number 3 !
    Best wishes Julie

  22. how true. great post. 🙂 sounds a lot like the advice we got as kids, “You are the friends you keep and the food you eat”.

  23. Thank you. A very good article.

  24. Really this article contains huge amount of information. I think it would be helpful for all. Thank you for sharing with us.
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