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3 Steps for Getting Over Yourself – Stop, Drop, and Roll

Stop Drop and Roll

Have you ever let an irritating person or event ruin your whole day?

Do you hold onto bitter feelings or grudges that affect you for days or weeks at a time?

Today I wanted to share 3 steps for getting over the bitter feelings, annoyances, irritations and other obstacles keeping you from having a happy and peaceful day.

This thought was shared with me by one of my dental assistants a few months ago and I’ve wanted to write about it ever since. As best I can tell, it comes from a book called Fuel by Jeremy Chin. I haven’t read the book so I hope I don’t butcher his meaning and intent.

You will recognize the 3 steps from your childhood as the method for putting out a fire on your body: Stop. Drop. Roll.

Before getting into each of those, let’s talk about “fire”. Obviously we are using fire as a metaphor for that feeling of being angry, worked up, annoyed, and frustrated. Have you ever been so angry it felt like you were on fire? I know I have.Stop Drop Roll yosemite_sam

When we get into that emotional state, we become more irrational and are likely to do or say things we would never do with a calm head. Sometimes it causes us to treat other people poorly even though they were never the cause of our initial irritation. Spending too much time “on fire” has destroyed many marriages, friendships, and business relationships. It is completely detrimental to our long-term happiness and success.

So how do we put out the fire?

#1 – Stop reacting to the stupid stuff

If you looked hard for them, you could find a hundred little reasons to get upset. Some people’s day is ruined if someone guts them off on the freeway. Or if their babysitter is 5 minutes late. Every time the small, inconsequential events occur, you get to make a choice about how you will let it affect you. Do you look at it as though everyone is trying to intentionally disrupt your day? Or do you just figure it was a mistake or oversight and then keep moving? If you want to feel happier and more content during the day, you must start by stopping.

#2 – Drop your irritation and anger

If you find that you have become angry at some one or some thing, remember to stop and take a deep breath and then let it go. Even if you are totally justified in feeling offended or upset, you have to let it go. The other person isn’t thinking twice about it so why should you let it ruin your day? Just let it go.

#3 – Roll on with your life

Now that you have stopped reacting to the stupid stuff and dropped the irritation and anger, you ca  now just roll forward. Get on with your life! What happened, happened. You can’t go back to change it and it does no good to worry about it. Life is all about moving forward so don’t let a little speed bump bring you to a complete stop.

Stop Drop Roll

The next time you feel like you are heating up inside about something or someone has set you “on fire”, remember the steps you learned as a kid:

Stop, Drop, and Roll

Kris

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18 comments

  1. Laurie Glotzbach

    This is a wonderful way to look at things.  Hopefully it can help you with some of the irritating issues that arise in your job daily. I hope you are feeling better. Have a good relaxing evening. Katie and I are headed to volleyball!

    ________________________________

  2. I have to say that this imparticular post is very true, many people have been this way from what I can see. So I have to say Bravo Kris, Bravo.

  3. Thank you Kris. It’s the truth, but takes a long time to learn and apply it to all things.

  4. Do not want anymore this kind of email. Thanks.

  5. In my journey I had 8 huge speed bumps that I have to pass through, overcome, goahead all the time to move on. I have struggled enough with these 8 bumps. finally after 27yrs. of a struggle I feel now I can move on a tiny bit.
    feel like today I

  6. What a great analogy! Wish I had thought of it, Kris. I always say that anger is one letter away from danger, but I like the image of fire better. It says more. Fire destroys and consumes its source. It feeds on oxygen and causes explosions. You’ve given me a great image that I’m sure I will use in the future. Thanks. Such a great post!

  7. I have heard this philosophy from many sources, and I do feel that it’s true! However, I’m having a very, very hard time applying this in real life. Struggling with marital issues that I’m finding impossible to get past. I know I need to let it go and move on, I just don’t know HOW.

    • Jennifer,
      Bless your heart. Long-term marital problems are such a hard thing to deal with especially if only one person is putting most of the effort to resolve them.
      There are some great tips and tricks that can help apply this to specific situations. I’d love to share some thoughts with you if you will e-mail me at krisheap@successify.net, that way I’ll can respond to you individually.
      Best of luck! Talk to you soon.

  8. My husband and I just had a conversation about this topic this morning. As people, we can decide how much anger we carry after a disagreement. An important part of being able to stop reacting is to attribute positive intention to the offending person. If you assume that the person is trying to anger you, then there are few ways to find a solution or only very severe solutions.

    What’s missing from the conversation is how to respectfully discuss a disagreement. I don’t think that its ok to just drop a situation and roll on. In some minor instances that’s ok. But, not discussing the offending situation is just an equation for feeling rolled over. In a relationship of mutual respect and love, the offending person should have the opportunity to correct or to be informed of how the other person was hurt. If you assume positive intent, then the offending person would be glad to know how to correct the situation.

  9. Everyday there are “irritants” . This simple method blows them off and more important things get done….I DARE you to try it . thx Terry Shea Remax North Bay ont.

  10. good one Kris

  11. I certainly appreciate the concepts in general. But is this method not akin to “stuffing” our emotions and not dealing with them directly? Is it always the proper method to be passive when dealing with people who have seriously wronged us? Thank you for any insight.

    • Thanks for your comment. I don’t think being passive is necessarily the answer but I do think that getting worked up and frustrated for a long period of time can be extremely detrimental. I think it is probably normal and healthy to be upset at first but after feeling the frustration, the sooner we can move past it, the better off we will be.

      • Thank you for the follow up and I agree, carrying the anger over time is detrimental. That’s what I did. I kept thinking that someone would validate that yes, in fact, I had been wronged. But that didn’t happen and folks just went on with their lives–except me. So I didn’t handle it properly.

  12. I agree with Eric somewhat… sometimes you cannot just roll over and play dead, you have to confront the issue or person, otherwise they just keep being the same…. and if that makes you angry then you don’t get over it, and they keep doing the thing that really pi##es you off…. Nice theory, but it does not work all the time

  13. great post, thanks !! please read the article about firestop system http://www.ahlibeton.co.id/2015/09/firestop.html, Firestop the shaft hole in the floor of the building aims to prevent the expansion of the spread of fire between floors of multistory building in case of fire accident

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